A fictional narrative of a non-fictional life.
People have memories, random or not, that will describe a seemingly meaningless portion of their lives, or perhaps the most impressionable moment they have discovered. For some reason, I keep coming back to a meaningless one, a five second strand of time. Maybe it’s the smells I remember or maybe its nothing but a randomness of neurons, trying desperately to escape my memory. Whatever the reason, here is a bit of my past.
I lay in bed, barely awake, under the touch of a set of soft, newly washed covers. The sheets feel crisp and cool to the touch. It feels perfect on a warm fall day. My feet stick out from under the covers, but the sheets go all the way up to my chin, causing an under-appreciated mix of cool and warm, the same feeling when you are outside and a warm and cold front meet each other.
It can be no later than midnight, and as i stare at the blinds leading out onto the tranquil street, the street light flickers and the headlights creep in, causing horizontal beams of light to cascade across the wall, slowly at first, but gaining in speed, until the beams disappear entirely.
As the streetlight goes out, the window becomes dark. My eyes search for new places to stare, and the slowly spinning ceiling fan catches my gaze. At first, i simply stared, watching the blades wisp around. Then, I progressed to follow a single blade around, trying to track its movement. It’s this kind of simplicity that makes life seem meaningful.
Following around the room further, i see the glow in the dark posters of aliens that had been in the room for years, and the wooden chest that has traveled with me for the last 15 years.
All of this happened in just seconds, but for some reason, I have retained this moment for years, and have been dreaming about it lately. Maybe in my frustration of day-to-day life, my mind is trying to remind me of a simpler time, where I was completely at peace. Either way, every time i come back to this single dot in time, it gives me a feeling of nostalgia, and I wish i could go back, if only briefly.