A fictional narrative of a non-fictional life.
People have memories, random or not, that will describe a seemingly meaningless portion of their lives, or perhaps the most impressionable moment they have discovered. For some reason, I keep coming back to a meaningless one, a five second strand of time. Maybe it’s the smells I remember or maybe its nothing but a randomness of neurons, trying desperately to escape my memory. Whatever the reason, here is a bit of my past.
I lay in bed, barely awake, under the touch of a set of soft, newly washed covers. The sheets feel crisp and cool to the touch. It feels perfect on a warm fall day. My feet stick out from under the covers, but the sheets go all the way up to my chin, causing an under-appreciated mix of cool and warm, the same feeling when you are outside and a warm and cold front meet each other.
It can be no later than midnight, and as i stare at the blinds leading out onto the tranquil street, the street light flickers and the headlights creep in, causing horizontal beams of light to cascade across the wall, slowly at first, but gaining in speed, until the beams disappear entirely.
As the streetlight goes out, the window becomes dark. My eyes search for new places to stare, and the slowly spinning ceiling fan catches my gaze. At first, i simply stared, watching the blades wisp around. Then, I progressed to follow a single blade around, trying to track its movement. It’s this kind of simplicity that makes life seem meaningful.
Following around the room further, i see the glow in the dark posters of aliens that had been in the room for years, and the wooden chest that has traveled with me for the last 15 years.
All of this happened in just seconds, but for some reason, I have retained this moment for years, and have been dreaming about it lately. Maybe in my frustration of day-to-day life, my mind is trying to remind me of a simpler time, where I was completely at peace. Either way, every time i come back to this single dot in time, it gives me a feeling of nostalgia, and I wish i could go back, if only briefly.
It turns out there are few things that are more chaotic than that of a human heart. Speeding up, slowing down, pretty face, flight of stairs, it’s always changing no matter what happens. It’s an erratic son of a Bitch. But underneath all that bump to bump mess, there is in fact, a pattern, the truth. And it’s love. Most important thing about love is we choose to give it. And we choose to receive it, making it the least random act in the entire universe. It transcends blood, it transcends betrayal, and all that dirt that makes us human.
I was studying for a Management test tonight and re-read the sildes over and over, memorizing the redundant definitions, when it finally struck me. The hardest definition on these slides was :
Communication: Exchanging verbal or non-verbal information between one or more people.
This seems like it was third grade types of things, or more importantly, an implicit statement which SHOULD be known by anyone without ever having been explained.
Now the problem isn’t that it was on the slide. They were textbook based slides, so it was made for more than one audience. The problem is that someone on the test is going to miss it.
This person is going to graduate, and have a job somewhere.
College of Business. I apologize on your behalf.
Album That I’m Currently Obsessed With
Panic! At the Disco: Vices and Virtues
Panic! At the Disco returns to their old roots with this CD. They ditched their “Beatles” style sophomore album and returned with this gem, using their old style of awkwardness and good lyrics to make a truly great album, not to mention their use of a Steampunk style themed “The Ballad of Mona Lisa”
I have finally started to work on things that truly interest me at Gateway. I am hosting their website, which turns out to be surprisingly easy. All it involves in a little tweaking of a simple WAMP/Apache htdoc and publishing to the web.
I played around with IIS a little, but that turns out to be more trouble than its worth.
Anyway, not meaning to be technical. It’s fun to be able to do something I’m enjoying. It seems that my other job is becoming incredibly stagnant. I don’t like going in anymore, and people who I used to be able to talk to and joke around with, some bosses in particular, have become scarce due to layout changes. The others simply work other times, etc.
Because of this, work can get tense, and juggling two jobs and school can be tough.
My advice to you? Do your best to not work two jobs. Crappy, I know, but there you go
My name is Chris Wilkins and I am a senior at Iowa State University. Over the course of my four years here, I have had a multitude of jobs, including a restaurant and Borders. Both were …experiences, but now I am currently a Management Intern for the Solution Center at Iowa State University as well as a Network and Systems Admin for Gateway Insurance Services in Ames.